That afternoon there was a party of tourists at the Terrace and looking down in the water among the empty beer cans and dead barracudas a woman saw a great long white spine with a huge tail at the end that lifted and swung with the tide while the east wind blew a heavy steady sea outside the entrance to the harbor.
“What’s that?” she asked a waiter and pointed to the long backbone of the great fish that was now just garbage waiting to go out with the tide.
“Tiburon,” the waiter said, “Eshark.” He was meaning to explain what had happened.
“I didn’t know sharks had such handsome, beautifully formed tails.”
“I didn’t either,” her male companion said.
Up the road, in his shack, the old man was sleeping again. He was still sleeping on his face and the boy was sitting by him watching him. The old man was dreaming about the lions.

We had a team with the night off, a team get their blocks knocked off, a team keep the ball from touching the ground off the opponents bats and that same team completing a sweep. Could the DFR be more contrived than that opening? Let’s find out!

Memphis 3, New Orleans 9

• Kat Maekawa, Welcome to America. Kat struck out the first batter he faced and it all went down hill from there. Seven runs, six hits and 2 BBs later and the first inning was mercifully over. The rest of the night, the guy who was thrust into starting, worked an effective next 4 innings (1 ER, 5 H, 0 BBs and 6 Ks) but by then, the game was essentially over. Final Line: 5.0 IP, 11 H, 8 ER, 2 BB and 8 Ks.
• Charlie Manning mopped things up with 2 innings of 1 Hit, 1 K ball.
• Marco Gonzalez gave up the other run in the game, pitching 2 innings. He struck out 2, walked 1 and gave up 3 hits.
• It takes determination to care about a game you are down a touchdown in before you even get and at-bat, but Shane Robinson tried his best. Robinson went 2 for 4 with a 2B and a Run scored. Shane also stole 3B, which delayed the game as everyone chased the little rascal around the complex trying to get it back.
• If Nick Stavinoha hits a HR and no one in the organization cares, does it make a sound? Nick went 2-for-4 also, with 2 RBIs.
• Jon Jay hit two groundballs for outs, one driving in a run and another reaching base allowing him to score on Stavinfection’s dinger.

Palm Beach 5, Sarasota 2

• Lance Lynn was effective over 4 innings. He only gave up 2 hits, striking out 3 and walking 2. Most importantly, Lynn recorded 8 groundouts and only 1 out in the air.
• Thomas Eager faced 4 batters, striking out 2 and giving up a hit to another.
• Brian Broderick picked up the win as a reliever, ironic since he pitched better as the starter last time and didn’t get the decision. He threw 3 innings, walking 1.
• Samuel Freeman had a rough go of it tonight. Palm Beach had a clean game until Freeman’s inning in the 8th. He gave up 3 hits, 2 ER, a BB and a K.
• The bane of my existence, Pete Kozma, went 2 for 3 with a double and a stolen base. He scored 2 runs and drove in 2, also taking a base on balls.
• Our Dutch hero, Curt Smith unleashed an RBI triple driving home Kozma. He also walked and struck out in his 3 at-bats.
• Tommy Pham was 0-phor-2, but had an RBI. He walked and stole a base.
• Shane Peterson continues to kill the ball. He’s batting .500 this season, going 1-for-4 tonight driving in a run.

Quad Cities 3, Beloit 0 (Game 1)

• Hector Cardenas was perfect in his 5 innings of work. He struck out 4. I don’t know how many pitches he had thrown, but I’m sure the kid would have liked a chance at those last two innings of the 7 inning game to try and get the No-No on his own.
• Kevin Thomas got to be the vulture today. He only threw 2 innings, wasn’t as perfect as Cardenas (1 BB) and he struck out a batter. More importantly, HE was the one that probably got mobbed as QC finished off the No-Hitter.
• Paul Cruz, have yourself a day. 3-for-3 with a double and 1 RBI.
• Alex Castellanos giveth (1-for-2 with 2 R and 1 RBI), Alex Castellanos taketh away (2 boots in the field).
• Niko Vasquez was 1-for-1 with a single. That single was actually a double he was thrown out trying to stretch to. With all the rain the Quad Cities had seen the last few days, Niko was tired from exciting the hydrogen particles on the grass to make the field playable today.
• Chris Swauger had a little bounce in his step as he homered, going 1-for-3.
• Roberto Espinoza, who sounds like a made up drug cartel character on Walker Texas Ranger, was 2-for-3 with 1 RBI.

Quad Cities 6, Beloit 3 (Game 2)

• Arquimedes Nieto worked the mechanism, striking out 6 over 4.1 innings. Nieto struggled in the 5th, walking a batter and giving up a homerun. He gave up 3 runs total on 4 Hits and 1 BB.
• Adam Veres finished off the 5th and the 6th, working both cleanly with 3 Ks.
• Casey Mulligan got it all right on the first try, striking out 2 in his 1 inning while picking up the save.
• Niko Vasquez was hit by a pitch. Well, it was assumed he was hit by a pitch. The ball tracked to his body and wasn’t seen from again. He simply put his head down and headed for first, while homeplate umpire Matt Benham stood in astonishment. Niko was 0-for-2 with 2 runs scored. In the 5th inning, Niko struck out so hard that the catcher couldn’t catch it and he reached base. While on 1B, he distracted the pitcher so thoroughly, he balked him to 2B.
• Paul Cruz continued his great day by going 1-for-2 with 2 BBs and an RBI. He came to the plate 7 times in the double header and reached base 6 times.
• Not to be outdone by his backup from the first game, Charles Cutler went 1-for-2 with 2 BBs and an RBI.
• Beloit was handing out free passes like they were free passes. Jon Edwards and Chris Swauger both took 2 of them each. Edwards also hit a sacrifice fly, going 0-for-1.

This DFR comes to you coated in the dried tears of a Cavaliers fan recovering from seeing a historic 40-1 home record slip away from the hands of a man named after breasts. Pulling myself together, I tried my best to look forward towards PJ Walters ascendance as the most bizarre non-screwball screwball pitcher of the last 70 years. My irrational love for PJ from the moment I read of his bizarre pitch seemed almost serendipitous. Why had I read Strauss’ article that day? Why would I read an article by Strauss any day? Go get ‘em, kid!

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